Warning: this post is not really too much fun, as i just returned from one of those intense solo late night walks
I officially have 3 days left in my village. That is strange to type. Im not coming home early, but I will be closing up my site early to go work somewhere else for the next 3 months. I have been sort of hired, or relocated, (or whatever) by Peace Corps to Almaty to develop a new Youth Development program and then train the new group of volunteers coming in August. It is a great opportunity and im pysched to get into it, but it leaves me feeling pretty strange right now. I was really nervous to tell people and probably waited too long to break the news. I think i was mostly just afraid of how my director Aigul would respond. We have grown extremely close and she constantly makes comments about how it will be hard when i have to go. Luckily for me, she has taken an approach where she says that we just wont talk about it or make a big deal of it (which is totally my style). Also, i will be able to return a few times over the next few months - and there is really not much worse than the second awkward goodbye with someone. On top of all this i feel conflicted as to how i feel about leaving. I have lived here for two years and it has become my home, the people - my family, friends and community. Especially the kids. The people that seemed so strange when i first came here, now have personalities and i have relatinships with them. I know i will never again have the experience of (and not because of anything particular about me, but just because this is a small fairly isolated village and everyone is interested in foreigners, especially Americans) walking down the street and everyone smiling and waving and being genuinely excited to have seen "the crazy american". I will move back home and just be another somebody. But at the same time, i feel guilty for not being more sad for leaving. I am so excited to get home and see everyone, and hang with my family, see dudeman Jimbo in El Salvador, and bro with my home heads...generally just take the next step in my life (whatever that might be). Word.
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3 comments:
I am so sorry I missed your phone call. I know your friend doesn't answer his phone. What can we do about that boy? I think I failed somehow! We were up north, (a place you also love and should be visiting in the very near future!). Life does some pretty strange things to our psyche. You are a changed man, I am sure. And when you come home, you certainly won't be just anyone. You have amazing stories to be told and we can't wait to see your wonderful face again. This family misses you terribly! See you in a few months. :-)
dude, can't wait to see you. i have a queen size pullout couch and a sweet city to show you when you're ready. good luck in your final weeks broton particle accelerator.
We are still keeping you in our thoughts and prayers as things wind down for you there. Looking forward to seeing you.
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