The epic battle of seats 23/24

Let me just say this: the buses in Kazakhstan are abhorrent. Hot, cramped, imported. And making a 9 hour trip just makes it all the worse. On this particular journey to Almaty from my site i shelled out the extra two bucks for not having the worst possible location(which is usually my go to seat, as i am a cheap ass - but also it is the back which for anyone who was in middle school knows it is a place for kings). Anyway i couldnt get the aisle seat, which would be desirable for legroom and was instead assigned a window seat. When i was in 10th grade my teacher told me "it is better to ask forgiveness than permission" - lesson well learned. so when it was time to board i hopped on early like a regular jerk and tried to snake the aisle seat thusly drawing first blood. With every young child, and small person that boarded i got hopeful to have a minute row partner who would offer me the seat that would help with my condition of having longer legs. It was not to be so however, and a young pushy russian woman instructed me to move over so that her husband could sit there and be closer to her family in the opposite row. Having a heart, and the wrong ticket i of course submitted. That is until guy-pushy wife sat down and spread himself like manifest destiny across all accepted seat borders. woh oh oh i dont think so. Afraid to get subjected to this row domination so early on instinctively shot my knees out...and so it began. The line of demarcation was set and it was a kneebone on kneebone standoff. The rules were laid: use inertia and roadbumps to jockey for position but NEVER make eye contact. After about 2 hours of this, i think to myself that i am the winner and my adversary switches seats and sends in his little daughter (no match for my large hairy legs). I assume that in his weakness he decided to go sit and cuddle with his wife and baby - while, I, Hannon - the victor invade seat 24 leg zone and relax like a king. Little did i know that it was all a plan, and while i was sitting on my laurels, i dropped my vigilance and fell asleep - only to wake to my man back in his seat and my legs severely ousted from their place of comfort. He was just saving himself to have fresh legs for the later battle...damn him. Tired and forlorn i conceded some territory which he promptly took, but again, nervous to lose sovereignty i went to pick up some uncontested shoulder space. And then all of a sudden, this cat isnt even into leg room anymore! He mirrors me, pressing hard with the shoulder blades. This was clearly a test of will for him. At this point it was like 4 in the morning and i was drained. I then recieved a text from my friend Kendall Hobart who is the queen of Mario Bros. jokes and decided to just fall asleep as is on that good note. Upon arrival in Almaty we both went our seperate ways, no words were spoken but i gave the man a lil tip of the cap for fortitude and perserverance.